Friday, August 9, 2013

The Unraveling Of A Marriage


I came across this story from Lysa TerKeurst today as I was reflecting back on marriages and relationships.  Neither of the two are easy, but they are so worth the investment of time that you put in to them.  Great or even good marriages don't just happen.  There is give and take.......compromises to be made.  In my marriage do I desire to be right all of the time?  Is it really worth more than the feelings of my husband, children, or best friend?

As you read this story think about the question of what being right is worth to you and other questions that come up as you read.  Enjoy and be blessed.

I had a favorite sweater I loved wearing. It wasn’t too bulky but was still warm and cozy. The only problem was the threads were loosely woven together. It would snag on things, so I had to be ever so careful when I wore it.

I was always mindful of the delicate nature of this sweater so I could protect it, make it last, and enjoy wearing it time and again.

Until one day I was in a hurry. I grabbed some things I needed for a meeting and rushed to my car. I tossed all my stuff over to the passenger seat, including a spiral notebook. A spiral notebook whose metal binding wire had gotten caught on my sleeve. As I pulled my arm toward the steering wheel, the notebook came with it and pulled a huge snag in my sweater.

I unhooked myself and assessed the damage.

What I should have done was taken the sweater off, put something else on, and later taken the time to repair the snag the correct way.

But in the rush of all I had going on, I made the tragic decision to do what seemed easiest in the moment. I snipped the lose threads and hoped for the best.

That tragic decision started an unraveling process that ended the life of that beautiful sweater.

A few days ago, my husband and I got into an argument. In front of the kids. Over something so stupid. Right before we were about to head out the door to go on a date.

In the heat of the argument he announced the date was off. He no longer wanted to go.
And honestly, I no longer wanted to go either.

I wanted to go sit in a coffee shop by myself and make a mental list of all the reasons I was right. All the reasons he was wrong. And justify my perspective.

But it’s at this exact moment of resistance that an unraveling can begin.

Doing what seems easy in the moment often isn’t what’s best for the long term.

I pushed for us to still go on our date. It wasn’t fun. It wasn’t easy. There were tears. There were awkward stretches of silence.

But we pushed through the resistance we both felt, and eventually talked.

Talking through the snags. The pulls. The things that threaten to unravel us.

There is a delicate nature to marriage. It’s so easy to forget that. It’s so easy to take it all for granted and stop being careful. Stop being mindful. Stop being protective.

The unraveling can happen so quickly.

What’s something you can do today to invest wisely in your marriage? To be mindful of your mate? To protect your relationship?

For me? I have to apologize. The right way. By admitting I was wrong and asking for forgiveness. Repairing the snags the right way… tying a knot and tucking it back into the weave of our relationship fabric.

Isn’t it funny that when we get married it’s called “tying the knot.” For us, this wasn’t just an act at the altar. It’s something we have to do over and over again.

Walking by Faith,



Looking out my back door first thing this morning to my surprise I see this darling baby bunny just about the size of these two white bunnies pictured below.  Only my baby bunny is shades of brown with the fastest feet on earth!!!  Unthinkingly, I opened the door for a closer look, and foolishly I thought I would have time to get a picture or two of him.  Yea, right! 

My mind is on the Bible study assignment I was given.  We are studying "Twelve Women Of The Bible"/Life-Changing stories for Women today.  The first session on Eve talks about how Eve was the first to be tempted by Satan.  She exchanged what she had in Paradise for what she didn't have there.  She was convinced by Satan that once she had what she was told by God she couldn't have in Paradise she would know everything God knows.

Each day this week I am to consider what daily miracles I will miss if I let myself focus on what I don't have.  Then I am to thank God for those blessings. 

Seeing that baby bunny in my back yard this morning reminded me of the times I would go with my Aunt and Uncle to the Cemetery's they would mow the grass at.  My Cousin and I would  search for anything interesting and would never be disappointed.  Many times we would find baby bunnies that their Mother had abandoned.  I would get to take one or two home with me to feed by dropper or a doll baby bottle until they got bigger and strong enough to be out on their own.  What sweet memories!

Memories of all of those baby bunnies I rescued over the years took me back to memories of time spent with my family.  Too many are no longer residing here on earth.  With a thankful heart I will see them again one day.  Until that time comes when I am once again reunited with them I am so thankful for all of my precious memories.     

Where is your focus?  Is it on what you're going through?  Are you at a place that you can shift your view?   Take a good look around you.  What are you thankful for today?  Thank God for your blessings!!

Walking by Faith,