The Unraveling Of A Marriage

 

I came across this story from Lysa TerKeurst today as I was reflecting back on marriages and relationships.  Neither of the two are easy, but they are so worth the investment of time that you put in to them.  Great or even good marriages don't just happen.  There is give and take.......compromises to be made.  In my marriage do I desire to be right all of the time?  Is it really worth more than the feelings of my husband, children, or best friend?

As you read this story think about the question of what being right is worth to you and other questions that come up as you read.  Enjoy and be blessed.


I had a favorite sweater I loved wearing. It wasn’t too bulky but was still warm and cozy. The only problem was the threads were loosely woven together. It would snag on things, so I had to be ever so careful when I wore it.

I was always mindful of the delicate nature of this sweater so I could protect it, make it last, and enjoy wearing it time and again.

Until one day I was in a hurry. I grabbed some things I needed for a meeting and rushed to my car. I tossed all my stuff over to the passenger seat, including a spiral notebook. A spiral notebook whose metal binding wire had gotten caught on my sleeve. As I pulled my arm toward the steering wheel, the notebook came with it and pulled a huge snag in my sweater.

I unhooked myself and assessed the damage.

What I should have done was taken the sweater off, put something else on, and later taken the time to repair the snag the correct way.

But in the rush of all I had going on, I made the tragic decision to do what seemed easiest in the moment. I snipped the lose threads and hoped for the best.

That tragic decision started an unraveling process that ended the life of that beautiful sweater.

A few days ago, my husband and I got into an argument. In front of the kids. Over something so stupid. Right before we were about to head out the door to go on a date.

In the heat of the argument he announced the date was off. He no longer wanted to go.
And honestly, I no longer wanted to go either.

I wanted to go sit in a coffee shop by myself and make a mental list of all the reasons I was right. All the reasons he was wrong. And justify my perspective.

But it’s at this exact moment of resistance that an unraveling can begin.

Doing what seems easy in the moment often isn’t what’s best for the long term.

I pushed for us to still go on our date. It wasn’t fun. It wasn’t easy. There were tears. There were awkward stretches of silence.

But we pushed through the resistance we both felt, and eventually talked.

Talking through the snags. The pulls. The things that threaten to unravel us.

There is a delicate nature to marriage. It’s so easy to forget that. It’s so easy to take it all for granted and stop being careful. Stop being mindful. Stop being protective.

The unraveling can happen so quickly.

What’s something you can do today to invest wisely in your marriage? To be mindful of your mate? To protect your relationship?

For me? I have to apologize. The right way. By admitting I was wrong and asking for forgiveness. Repairing the snags the right way… tying a knot and tucking it back into the weave of our relationship fabric.

Isn’t it funny that when we get married it’s called “tying the knot.” For us, this wasn’t just an act at the altar. It’s something we have to do over and over again.


Walking by Faith,

Deb
 

PRECIOUS MEMORIES HOW SWEET THEY ARE..............

Looking out my back door first thing this morning to my surprise I see this darling baby bunny just about the size of these two white bunnies pictured below.  Only my baby bunny is shades of brown with the fastest feet on earth!!!  Unthinkingly, I opened the door for a closer look, and foolishly I thought I would have time to get a picture or two of him.  Yea, right! 

My mind is on the Bible study assignment I was given.  We are studying "Twelve Women Of The Bible"/Life-Changing stories for Women today.  The first session on Eve talks about how Eve was the first to be tempted by Satan.  She exchanged what she had in Paradise for what she didn't have there.  She was convinced by Satan that once she had what she was told by God she couldn't have in Paradise she would know everything God knows.

Each day this week I am to consider what daily miracles I will miss if I let myself focus on what I don't have.  Then I am to thank God for those blessings. 

Seeing that baby bunny in my back yard this morning reminded me of the times I would go with my Aunt and Uncle to the Cemetery's they would mow the grass at.  My Cousin and I would  search for anything interesting and would never be disappointed.  Many times we would find baby bunnies that their Mother had abandoned.  I would get to take one or two home with me to feed by dropper or a doll baby bottle until they got bigger and strong enough to be out on their own.  What sweet memories!

Memories of all of those baby bunnies I rescued over the years took me back to memories of time spent with my family.  Too many are no longer residing here on earth.  With a thankful heart I will see them again one day.  Until that time comes when I am once again reunited with them I am so thankful for all of my precious memories.     

Where is your focus?  Is it on what you're going through?  Are you at a place that you can shift your view?   Take a good look around you.  What are you thankful for today?  Thank God for your blessings!!


Walking by Faith,

Deb

Who Are You?

 I am not being defined by what is happening to me, but how I am getting through it. That will be the person I become tomorrow.  I intentionally have rephrased this to the present for you to see what it is saying with different eyes. 

We can be going along just fine in our ordinary lives until the extraordinary happens.  It's unexplainable and unimaginable. It's not going to go away by wishing you could start the day over again.  There typically will be no redo's in life. 

In the flash of a second you will choose.  There is no time to think or form a plan.  This choice will be automatic.  It could bring life or it could bring death.

What is the foundation of your life built on?  Who can you go to and trust with your most intimate secrets?  Who fills your empty spots?  Who are you?  I  think these are some very good questions to think about.  
  
If you are walking through life thinking nothing will ever happen to you.  Then you need a back up plan with that one, because life happens in the blink of an eye.  I know because that is what happened to me.

One moment I'm at work where finishing a project was the main thing on my mind.  Seven miles away a trigger is pulled on a high powered gun.  In the blink of an eye a life is taken.  My daughter is gone.   There will be no more   swinging on the tire swing at school with her best friend Summyr.  There will be no more rocking in the rocking chair with my daughter on my lap enjoying a moment in time.

I am so thankful that I don't just have a religion with God.  I have a relationship with God.  I talk to him every day.  He is my refuge, strength, faith and hope.  He is oxygen to me.  I just call on his name and he hears me and covers me with his grace and mercy in to another day.

Another day begins and joy comes with the sunrise.



Walking By Faith,

Deb 

 

Experiencing ”Aislinn Hair Boutique”



Escape with me to a place where you can indulge yourself with a unique cut, style, color, or perm.  It’s a place where your stress fades away into a distant memory.  Comfort, relaxation and rejuvenation takes its place.

 

Allow me to introduce to you my friend Trish Gamez, with her daughter, Gabby.  For 27 years Trish has been dedicated to giving the utmost attention, courtesy, and high level of service to her clients.  Trish has been praying for some time for God to bless her heart’s desire to have her own shop. 

In time, God has not only blessed Trish with the perfect space for a new shop; He gave her the name.  As Trish was dreaming one day about what the name of this special gift from God would be she was curious about how the name “Beauty” would be described. 

As Trish typed out b-e-a-u-t-y, what followed left Trish speechless.  The word “Aislinn” popped up, (in Ireland it's pronounced as "ASH-lin").  To most of us that wouldn’t mean anything, but to Trish, what came next left her with no doubt whatsoever that now was the time to boldly and confidently begin designing her life-long dream. 

 

Aislinn is Irish for Dream, Vision, and Beauty.  Trish was born on Saint Patrick’s Day and Trish had a dream and a vision for a beautiful place where everyone who entered through her door would feel the presence of God.

On July third,  I had the honor of being Trish’s first "Client" to walk through her door.  I instantly felt at peace as I entered. My eyes traveled around the room trying to take everything in.  I was instantly drawn to this elegant red couch and had a strong desire to sit there a while and enjoy a cup of coffee.

The Shop is elegantly and tastefully decorated. It invites you in to have a seat and be pampered.   Aislinn Hair Boutique is truly a beautiful reflection of who Trish is, and gives testimony that you are never too old to have a dream come true.

May I present to you, Aislinn Hair Boutique, located at 900 E. Florence Blvd., Suite D3, Casa Grande, AZ   85122.  Hours are: Tuesday and Thursday 9AM-6or7PM, Wednesday and Friday 9AM-2:30PM, Saturday by appointment.  Although walk-ins are welcome, for your convenience, it is best to call for an appointment.  To reserve your time with Trish call 520-252-9655 (Cell).                                                                                                                              

 

 

I'd like to express my appreciation to my son, Paul Holway of "Holway Images" for presenting me with such lovely pictures to share.

 

 

 

 

 

Walking By Faith,

Deb



 

 

Learn How to Pass Your Tests In Life

I have just finished reading an article by Joyce Meyer that has given me a lot to think about.  John 16:33 it says, "In the world you have tribulation and trials"............reading the rest of the verse you get to the best part where Jesus says, He has overcome the world!!

Sometimes God allows or even arranges for us to go through difficult times in this life because it's during those times that we grow in our faith and develop more of the character of Christ.  Trials reveal what we really believe and what's really inside our hearts.  They test us.

As I have walked through some tough trials I had a choice to make in every single one.  Did I want to feel joyful as it says in James 1:2, "we should consider it wholly joyful when we experience a trial or face a temptation?"  Verse 3 goes on to say that "the trial and proving of your faith bring out endurance and steadfastness and patience." 

Do you all remember being told NOT to pray for patience?  I still have my training wheels on with that one!!  LOL!!!  BUT........my mind is recalling a saying......."when the going gets tough......the tough get going!!"  Now that spells steadfastness to me, which is a friend of patience!!  I don't have to like it.  I just have to do it.  Without the whining is always good!

I continue to be a work in progress........yes, I am progressing!!  To have more of the character of Christ takes lots of practice.  Some repeat testing is also normal so quitting is not an option, because the outcome will not be pretty!!  Temptations will visit us during our journey, so how do we pass our tests?  Here are some temptations that can come along where Joyce offers some great defense plans:

1.  We can be tempted to go back to an old habit or addiction, even though we've been set free.  If we  submit ourselves to God, humble ourselves before Him He will give you the strength to resist the temptation.

2.  We can be tempted to be angry with God and resent people who don't have the same problems we have or who have things we want.  When tempted, set your minds to praise Him instead and thank Him for His goodness in our lives.

3.  Trials can tempt us to become indignant and say things like, "Why is this happening to me?  I don't understand?!"  instead of wondering why and feeling sorry for ourselves, we need to say, "Don't panic...this is only a test!"  Because the truth is, this too will pass and we'll get through it with more peace and stability if we trust God.

4.  We can also be tempted to take matters into our own hands.  If you've ever thought, "I'm not going to put up with this any more!  I'm going to do something about this!"  When we take matters into our own hands, we delay or miss the blessing that God wants to give us.  Instead, we need to trust God and wait on Him to work things out. 

Walking through the days after the tragedy of losing our daughter Bethany at the age of 8 and all that followed was harder then anything I've ever gone through.  I went through yelling and being mad at God to coming right back to Him asking His forgiveness.  As I voiced my anger and I heard my words I realized right away just where I would be without God in my life. 

I realized that I don't have to "understand" the whys.........I just have to "Trust In God......"  This was my time of  testing of my faith and belief for me.  If what I believe is true then I need to walk in what I believe......."But because God was so gracious, so very generous, here I am.  And I'm not about to let his grace go to waste........"  I Corinthians 15:10 (Message Bible)



Walking by Faith...............Deb

SKIPPING, TUTU'S AND SINGING.......OH MY!!!

I was feeling a little stressed in the store grocery store today trying to get some last minute plans together for having guests for dinner that evening.  Cooking and even planning what to have for company does not come easy to me.  I certainly did not take after my Mother who would cook up a slew of food and then store it in the freezer ready for any company that might pop by that evening.  How did she find the time or energy for that?  I might have the time and the energy, but what about my "want to?" 

I remember one day when Mom thought it was time to teach me how to cook and she had me help her bake up some cookies.  Well now, my Dad was outside doing something much more interesting and I just knew I needed to be with him but Mom wouldn't hear of it! 

I was a Daddy's girl.  I loved hanging with him.  Dad would take me out with him to test drive a new/used car he had just bought.  That's just what you "did" when you got a different vehicle.  You just HAD to know how fast that thing could go!!  Why?  I don't know, but it sure was fun!!

So standing in the kitchen with Mom my mind was whirling with thoughts of how I could get out of learning how to bake cookies that day.  We had flour and salt mixed in among some other ingredients Mom had told me to measure in to the making of these cookies when opportunity presented itself!  I had already been goofing off and whining about not wanting to bake so when Mom told me to throw an egg in.........well........that's what I did!  I did throw that egg in.  The whole egg, and that was the final straw with Mom.  When Mom got mad......she got mad!  Her small brown eyes would snap and I swear they looked like an angry monkey's eyes!  I know that because we used to have a monkey and when she got mad at me I knew I needed to get out of her presence and fast!!!  That's another story though!!!

My plan didn't quite go as I had thought and hoped it would.  Instead of getting to go hang out with Dad I got to hang out in my room. 

As I'm formulating a plan for what to cook for dinner tonight I hear the sound of singing and dancing feet.  I turn around just in time to see a Father and his three little girls skipping up the aisle headed towards the beautifully decorated cakes and cookies.  The girls were dressed up in their finery of tutu's and lace and little ballerina shoes with ribbons and bows in their long blond curls.  Very girly - girl looking!  Their Father, thankfully wasn't.  He was dressed in blue jeans and t-shirt and not so ballerina looking tennis shoes!  The Father was not embarrassed at all over the attention he got with his skipping and singing.  He told me these were only three of the five girl's he had AND he had one son! 

All I can say is...........that is just precious!!!  It's not every day that you see a Father delighting his daughters in such a way. The smiles and giggling spilling out from the girls was contagious!!!  You couldn't help but be drawn in.  I wanted to go skip with them!!!  I wanted to go skip rope with them!!  Maybe even re-learn how to run that hula hoop!!  That would be oh so much more fun then going home and cooking!!!

With a renewed mind and a renewed spirit within me I skipped home to.......COOK!!!  THEN.........where did I put that hula hoop!!!!!!!




Walking by Faith,

Deb

Got My Socks Blessed Off!!

I've been thinking over a conversation I had with one of the Cashiers at Wal-Mart.  As she was scanning my purchases she kept up a non-stop conversation with me.  She was so very proud of an Angel pin she was wearing that she had gotten from her Grandmother.  Several times she told me how old it was.  She would stop scanning a few times trying to look on the back of her pin as she was telling me that it was worth a lot of money.  On the back of her pin was just the first name of the Artist.  She couldn't remember the name so was trying to find it to show me. 

She proceeded to tell me about another pin she had from her Grandmother that was also very old.  This one she had to stop wearing because the clasp was breaking and she was afraid of losing it.  She told me that she had a customer that had approached her on several occasions offering to buy this one from her.  She would turn him down each time.  On his final approach he told her to please remember him if she ever decided to sell this pin.  She's not selling those pins!!!!  :)

She then told me something that I will not soon forget after I suggested that she might want to take out some insurance on all of the items that are so precious to her and hold so much value.  Smiling, showing her missing teeth, she looked me right in the eyes and told me she had lost her husband awhile back.  She had two dogs left and they were her family.  She cared more about keeping a roof over her and her four legged children.  They were now her family. 

She told me that if someone came to her home and broke in taking all of her valuable possessions that would be ok with her as long as she still had what was left of her family.  She figured that they must need the money that they would get from the stolen items more then she needed to possess them.  What goes around, comes around eventually.......God will take care of them. 

I looked closely at her to see if she fully believed what she was saying, because I could tell by the way that she was dressed and how she looked that she didn't have much money.  I was surprised to see that she meant what she said! 

She's got it right!  Her trust and faith is in God to take care of her and to provide for her and her babies.  I love visiting with people who love the Lord so much and they're not afraid to talk about their faith! 

I found myself wanting to hear more from this Woman of Faith.  She's got more stories to share......I can just tell...........

"When we trust God we are free to rely entirely upon Him to provide what we need."   --Richard Foster

"Belonging to God is liberating.  It sets us free and satisfies our longings."  --Mary Graham


Blessed by His Presence.........

Deb