Who Are You?

 I am not being defined by what is happening to me, but how I am getting through it. That will be the person I become tomorrow.  I intentionally have rephrased this to the present for you to see what it is saying with different eyes. 

We can be going along just fine in our ordinary lives until the extraordinary happens.  It's unexplainable and unimaginable. It's not going to go away by wishing you could start the day over again.  There typically will be no redo's in life. 

In the flash of a second you will choose.  There is no time to think or form a plan.  This choice will be automatic.  It could bring life or it could bring death.

What is the foundation of your life built on?  Who can you go to and trust with your most intimate secrets?  Who fills your empty spots?  Who are you?  I  think these are some very good questions to think about.  
  
If you are walking through life thinking nothing will ever happen to you.  Then you need a back up plan with that one, because life happens in the blink of an eye.  I know because that is what happened to me.

One moment I'm at work where finishing a project was the main thing on my mind.  Seven miles away a trigger is pulled on a high powered gun.  In the blink of an eye a life is taken.  My daughter is gone.   There will be no more   swinging on the tire swing at school with her best friend Summyr.  There will be no more rocking in the rocking chair with my daughter on my lap enjoying a moment in time.

I am so thankful that I don't just have a religion with God.  I have a relationship with God.  I talk to him every day.  He is my refuge, strength, faith and hope.  He is oxygen to me.  I just call on his name and he hears me and covers me with his grace and mercy in to another day.

Another day begins and joy comes with the sunrise.



Walking By Faith,

Deb 

 

Experiencing ”Aislinn Hair Boutique”



Escape with me to a place where you can indulge yourself with a unique cut, style, color, or perm.  It’s a place where your stress fades away into a distant memory.  Comfort, relaxation and rejuvenation takes its place.

 

Allow me to introduce to you my friend Trish Gamez, with her daughter, Gabby.  For 27 years Trish has been dedicated to giving the utmost attention, courtesy, and high level of service to her clients.  Trish has been praying for some time for God to bless her heart’s desire to have her own shop. 

In time, God has not only blessed Trish with the perfect space for a new shop; He gave her the name.  As Trish was dreaming one day about what the name of this special gift from God would be she was curious about how the name “Beauty” would be described. 

As Trish typed out b-e-a-u-t-y, what followed left Trish speechless.  The word “Aislinn” popped up, (in Ireland it's pronounced as "ASH-lin").  To most of us that wouldn’t mean anything, but to Trish, what came next left her with no doubt whatsoever that now was the time to boldly and confidently begin designing her life-long dream. 

 

Aislinn is Irish for Dream, Vision, and Beauty.  Trish was born on Saint Patrick’s Day and Trish had a dream and a vision for a beautiful place where everyone who entered through her door would feel the presence of God.

On July third,  I had the honor of being Trish’s first "Client" to walk through her door.  I instantly felt at peace as I entered. My eyes traveled around the room trying to take everything in.  I was instantly drawn to this elegant red couch and had a strong desire to sit there a while and enjoy a cup of coffee.

The Shop is elegantly and tastefully decorated. It invites you in to have a seat and be pampered.   Aislinn Hair Boutique is truly a beautiful reflection of who Trish is, and gives testimony that you are never too old to have a dream come true.

May I present to you, Aislinn Hair Boutique, located at 900 E. Florence Blvd., Suite D3, Casa Grande, AZ   85122.  Hours are: Tuesday and Thursday 9AM-6or7PM, Wednesday and Friday 9AM-2:30PM, Saturday by appointment.  Although walk-ins are welcome, for your convenience, it is best to call for an appointment.  To reserve your time with Trish call 520-252-9655 (Cell).                                                                                                                              

 

 

I'd like to express my appreciation to my son, Paul Holway of "Holway Images" for presenting me with such lovely pictures to share.

 

 

 

 

 

Walking By Faith,

Deb



 

 

Learn How to Pass Your Tests In Life

I have just finished reading an article by Joyce Meyer that has given me a lot to think about.  John 16:33 it says, "In the world you have tribulation and trials"............reading the rest of the verse you get to the best part where Jesus says, He has overcome the world!!

Sometimes God allows or even arranges for us to go through difficult times in this life because it's during those times that we grow in our faith and develop more of the character of Christ.  Trials reveal what we really believe and what's really inside our hearts.  They test us.

As I have walked through some tough trials I had a choice to make in every single one.  Did I want to feel joyful as it says in James 1:2, "we should consider it wholly joyful when we experience a trial or face a temptation?"  Verse 3 goes on to say that "the trial and proving of your faith bring out endurance and steadfastness and patience." 

Do you all remember being told NOT to pray for patience?  I still have my training wheels on with that one!!  LOL!!!  BUT........my mind is recalling a saying......."when the going gets tough......the tough get going!!"  Now that spells steadfastness to me, which is a friend of patience!!  I don't have to like it.  I just have to do it.  Without the whining is always good!

I continue to be a work in progress........yes, I am progressing!!  To have more of the character of Christ takes lots of practice.  Some repeat testing is also normal so quitting is not an option, because the outcome will not be pretty!!  Temptations will visit us during our journey, so how do we pass our tests?  Here are some temptations that can come along where Joyce offers some great defense plans:

1.  We can be tempted to go back to an old habit or addiction, even though we've been set free.  If we  submit ourselves to God, humble ourselves before Him He will give you the strength to resist the temptation.

2.  We can be tempted to be angry with God and resent people who don't have the same problems we have or who have things we want.  When tempted, set your minds to praise Him instead and thank Him for His goodness in our lives.

3.  Trials can tempt us to become indignant and say things like, "Why is this happening to me?  I don't understand?!"  instead of wondering why and feeling sorry for ourselves, we need to say, "Don't panic...this is only a test!"  Because the truth is, this too will pass and we'll get through it with more peace and stability if we trust God.

4.  We can also be tempted to take matters into our own hands.  If you've ever thought, "I'm not going to put up with this any more!  I'm going to do something about this!"  When we take matters into our own hands, we delay or miss the blessing that God wants to give us.  Instead, we need to trust God and wait on Him to work things out. 

Walking through the days after the tragedy of losing our daughter Bethany at the age of 8 and all that followed was harder then anything I've ever gone through.  I went through yelling and being mad at God to coming right back to Him asking His forgiveness.  As I voiced my anger and I heard my words I realized right away just where I would be without God in my life. 

I realized that I don't have to "understand" the whys.........I just have to "Trust In God......"  This was my time of  testing of my faith and belief for me.  If what I believe is true then I need to walk in what I believe......."But because God was so gracious, so very generous, here I am.  And I'm not about to let his grace go to waste........"  I Corinthians 15:10 (Message Bible)



Walking by Faith...............Deb

SKIPPING, TUTU'S AND SINGING.......OH MY!!!

I was feeling a little stressed in the store grocery store today trying to get some last minute plans together for having guests for dinner that evening.  Cooking and even planning what to have for company does not come easy to me.  I certainly did not take after my Mother who would cook up a slew of food and then store it in the freezer ready for any company that might pop by that evening.  How did she find the time or energy for that?  I might have the time and the energy, but what about my "want to?" 

I remember one day when Mom thought it was time to teach me how to cook and she had me help her bake up some cookies.  Well now, my Dad was outside doing something much more interesting and I just knew I needed to be with him but Mom wouldn't hear of it! 

I was a Daddy's girl.  I loved hanging with him.  Dad would take me out with him to test drive a new/used car he had just bought.  That's just what you "did" when you got a different vehicle.  You just HAD to know how fast that thing could go!!  Why?  I don't know, but it sure was fun!!

So standing in the kitchen with Mom my mind was whirling with thoughts of how I could get out of learning how to bake cookies that day.  We had flour and salt mixed in among some other ingredients Mom had told me to measure in to the making of these cookies when opportunity presented itself!  I had already been goofing off and whining about not wanting to bake so when Mom told me to throw an egg in.........well........that's what I did!  I did throw that egg in.  The whole egg, and that was the final straw with Mom.  When Mom got mad......she got mad!  Her small brown eyes would snap and I swear they looked like an angry monkey's eyes!  I know that because we used to have a monkey and when she got mad at me I knew I needed to get out of her presence and fast!!!  That's another story though!!!

My plan didn't quite go as I had thought and hoped it would.  Instead of getting to go hang out with Dad I got to hang out in my room. 

As I'm formulating a plan for what to cook for dinner tonight I hear the sound of singing and dancing feet.  I turn around just in time to see a Father and his three little girls skipping up the aisle headed towards the beautifully decorated cakes and cookies.  The girls were dressed up in their finery of tutu's and lace and little ballerina shoes with ribbons and bows in their long blond curls.  Very girly - girl looking!  Their Father, thankfully wasn't.  He was dressed in blue jeans and t-shirt and not so ballerina looking tennis shoes!  The Father was not embarrassed at all over the attention he got with his skipping and singing.  He told me these were only three of the five girl's he had AND he had one son! 

All I can say is...........that is just precious!!!  It's not every day that you see a Father delighting his daughters in such a way. The smiles and giggling spilling out from the girls was contagious!!!  You couldn't help but be drawn in.  I wanted to go skip with them!!!  I wanted to go skip rope with them!!  Maybe even re-learn how to run that hula hoop!!  That would be oh so much more fun then going home and cooking!!!

With a renewed mind and a renewed spirit within me I skipped home to.......COOK!!!  THEN.........where did I put that hula hoop!!!!!!!




Walking by Faith,

Deb

Got My Socks Blessed Off!!

I've been thinking over a conversation I had with one of the Cashiers at Wal-Mart.  As she was scanning my purchases she kept up a non-stop conversation with me.  She was so very proud of an Angel pin she was wearing that she had gotten from her Grandmother.  Several times she told me how old it was.  She would stop scanning a few times trying to look on the back of her pin as she was telling me that it was worth a lot of money.  On the back of her pin was just the first name of the Artist.  She couldn't remember the name so was trying to find it to show me. 

She proceeded to tell me about another pin she had from her Grandmother that was also very old.  This one she had to stop wearing because the clasp was breaking and she was afraid of losing it.  She told me that she had a customer that had approached her on several occasions offering to buy this one from her.  She would turn him down each time.  On his final approach he told her to please remember him if she ever decided to sell this pin.  She's not selling those pins!!!!  :)

She then told me something that I will not soon forget after I suggested that she might want to take out some insurance on all of the items that are so precious to her and hold so much value.  Smiling, showing her missing teeth, she looked me right in the eyes and told me she had lost her husband awhile back.  She had two dogs left and they were her family.  She cared more about keeping a roof over her and her four legged children.  They were now her family. 

She told me that if someone came to her home and broke in taking all of her valuable possessions that would be ok with her as long as she still had what was left of her family.  She figured that they must need the money that they would get from the stolen items more then she needed to possess them.  What goes around, comes around eventually.......God will take care of them. 

I looked closely at her to see if she fully believed what she was saying, because I could tell by the way that she was dressed and how she looked that she didn't have much money.  I was surprised to see that she meant what she said! 

She's got it right!  Her trust and faith is in God to take care of her and to provide for her and her babies.  I love visiting with people who love the Lord so much and they're not afraid to talk about their faith! 

I found myself wanting to hear more from this Woman of Faith.  She's got more stories to share......I can just tell...........

"When we trust God we are free to rely entirely upon Him to provide what we need."   --Richard Foster

"Belonging to God is liberating.  It sets us free and satisfies our longings."  --Mary Graham


Blessed by His Presence.........

Deb

Turning Fifty-Nine and Learning New Habits

On Sunday I begin my last year of being in the 50's!  I have never let age be a problem.  I've never thought.......Oh no!!!!  I'm like 59 and I know what comes after that number!!!!  I really don't think about it until the typical symptoms of stiff joints, flexibility something I used to be able to do comes up that I can still do, but I have to do it differently.  Still, I have made the adjustments and continued on.

I remember one Birthday year when I was in my 40's.  A friend had a Birthday just a couple of days before mine and I had taken a gift over to her to wish her a Happy Birthday.  I remember being filled with so much joy that day.  My heart was filled with so much gratefulness.  Even though I had walked some rough roads and still was walking in some of them I still had my joy.  My husband had been watching me walking down the hill and when I came in to the house he told me that I looked like I had the world by the tail!  He liked what he saw and I liked what he noticed!!   ;)

Lately I have felt like I have gotten a little too comfortable in some areas of my life.  I've been thinking that this is a good year to start breaking out of some of those bad habits that seemed to have become a permanent fixture in my life.  Some of my habits have been holding me back from living an even fuller life than I am at the moment.  Changing things up a little is good.............right? 

I knew that I would need some help with redirecting my old habits to make room for some new ones.  So I contacted Joyce Meyer and told her that I needed some help.  Well........she went out and wrote this book.......just for me!!!!  It's called "Making Good Habits Breaking Bad Habits!"   Well.......that's not exactly true.  She did write this book and I realized it was just for me because I needed to make the changes in such a way that I would have victory and not defeat!

A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.    Lao-Tzu

The biggest thief of success is procrastination.  I can think about doing the right thing, plan to do it, and talk about doing it, but nothing will change in my life until I start consistently doing what I need to do.  Someone said, "Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of."  (Joyce Meyer)

Procrastination is a thief.  It steals my time, my potential., my self-esteem, my peace of mind.

Here are a few quotes on procrastination that are in Joyce's book:

"Procrastination is like a credit card, it is a lot of fun until you get the bill."  Christopher Parker

"There are so many things that we wish we had done yesterday, and so few that we feel like doing today."  Mignon McLaughlin

"If you have goals and procrastination, you have nothing.  If you have goals and you take action, you will have anything you want."  Thomas J. Vilord

"Procrastination is the kidnapper of souls, and the recruiting-officer of Hell."  Edward Irving

"Procrastination is the seed of self-destruction."  Matthew Burton

"When there is a hill to climb don't think that waiting will make it smaller."  Author Unknown

"Procrastination is suicide on the installment plan."  Author Unknown

Many people will say, " I'm just a procrastinator," as if that were their identity.  We are children of God, joint heirs with Christ, filled with the Holy Spirit, anointed by God, gifted, talented, and able to do whatever we need to do in life through Christ (Philippians 4:1)

Today is a good day to make my list of what I know I need help with.  I will take one thing off of that list and work on it.  I know that by changing a few habits I will automatically add hours to my day.  I want to decrease the stress in my life so that I will be a better wife, mother and grandmother.  Let's face it, some habits come with a lot of excess baggage!

Today I will also make a list of the things I would like to do if I had the time and energy to do them.  God's Word encourages us to be active, and by being active we shut the door to laziness, procrastination, and passivity.  If we start doing the right thing, there will be no room for the wrong thing.  I like that!  What greater gift can I give myself?    :)

"This is the day that the Lord has made; I will rejoice and be glad in it!"  Psalm 118:24

Blessings.........

Walking by Faith,

Deb

When Trust in a Marriage is Violated

Today I came across this devotional and it hit me right smack in the face!!!  Wow!!!  Is she talking about me?  It's true.......this is certainly a part of my story.  What came about to shed light on my deceit was a marriage conference.

Jer and I decided to go to the "Name" marriage conference that was being held locally.  We were new to Casa Grande and had not been to a conference such as this before. 

Everything started out fine and we were really enjoying the whole presentation.  I had taken so many notes and had really gotten in to the conference.  Right at noon when they were going to break for lunch they told all of us that in the afternoon they would be talking about finances.  Immediately I got tired and expressed to Jer over lunch that I would be ok if we didn't come back in the afternoon to finish off with the conference. 

Working full time and being busy and fitting in a conference was a challenge for us, and we can easily talk the other out of doing things because we are too tired.  In fact, we almost talked ourselves out of even going to this conference.

I believe that God gave Jer a strong spiritual backbone when I suggested we not finish the conference.  Of course, I did not tell Jer the underlying reason that I was suddenly tired and wanted to go home.  If I confessed that then I would have to confess all of it! 

I am so thankful that Jer said no, we're going to finish.  The speaker hadn't even gotten 15 minutes in to his speech and I was broken.  God had a meeting with me that day.  Face to face.  He told me it was time to lay my burden of deceit down and the burden of guilt down and the burden of the not enoughs down.........not to mention the burden of the what ifs down.........just to name a few. 

During break time with tears streaming down my face I confessed it all to Jer and asked him to forgive me and he did.  I also asked my Heavenly Father for forgiveness and to help me to keep these burdens right where they belonged.  At his feet.

Because of the choice I made that day with Jer and I working together we are now debt free except for our home.  Today I am intentional with my spending.  I think about what I am doing and how it will get paid for and do I really need it right now. 

Freeing up our finances allows us to help others.  If I added up all of the money spent just on interest alone look at the difference that could have made to someone who was really in need.

I do not live with a heart filled with regret.  I live with a heart filled with so much thankfulness!  I am forgiven and God has taken all of the burdens I left at his feet that day and drowned them all in the deepest seas never to be remembered again. 

Life doesn't get any better then to live your life forgiven. 

 

Walking by Faith,

Deb

 

By:  Stephanie Clayton

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others." Philippians 2:3-4 (NIV)

Hide it! This was my first instinct. I was certain if my husband found out, he would leave me. So I rushed home at lunch every day to remove another credit card statement from our mailbox. My payments were late; fees were stacking up. I was sinking deeper and deeper into a financial and emotional abyss.

My husband was clueless about my debt ... now our debt. He never would have condoned my spending habits, as he is wiser with finances. So the spending was my secret.

Soon, it wasn't just letters in the mail, the phone calls began. I was either going to have to fess up or continue to try and hide it. But at that point, hiding was next to impossible.

I wondered things like, if I tell him, will he divorce me? Will he ever trust me again? Things are already bad, will this make them worse? They are just credit cards, right?

The regrets are many as I look back at this time. We pay high interest rates because of my choices. But even more, I regret violating my husband's trust. I created trust issues in our marriage that run deep and have required much time, effort, and grace to mend. What started out as just small pieces of plastic, ended up creating a gigantic rift in our marriage.

Trust issues in marriage can come in one form or another. There are the things that can knock us down quickly such as lying, committing adultery, and falling captive to an addiction such as alcohol or pornography. And then there are the things that chip away at trust over time like constantly showing up late, paying more attention to a phone or electronic device, cancelling date night repetitively, and refusing intimacy more often than not.

Most of us experience some combination of both major and minor trust-violating incidents unique to our marriage, resulting in trust gaps, and ultimately feelings of abandonment, anger, and rejection.

So how do we mend trust in a relationship as delicate as a marriage? Especially when we are the offender? A great place to start is looking at Philippians 2:3-4. In these verses, Christ calls us to imitate His humility. To do nothing out of selfishness, but value others above ourselves.

Imagine how your marriage would change if you and your spouse both chose to follow these principles. And even if your spouse is not on board, imagine how your life would change if you decided to consider his needs above your own?

This certainly is not a suggestion to be a doormat or endure an abusive situation. Healthy boundaries should be set if there is abuse of any kind. But what I am condoning is healthy humble behavior. Be cognizant of the words you speak to and the tone you use with your spouse. Do not disrespect him verbally. Encourage him every chance you get. Choose to consult him regarding the decisions you make, even the small ones.

Marriage is a partnership. Communicate the value and importance of your husband's opinions. The miracle of humility and respect is when we present it to others, it tends to come back to us in greater amounts.

My marriage is on the mend. I have submitted our finances to my husband. Not because he is a dictator or longs to be in control, but because he is wise in this area and leads in a way of spending and saving that looks out for the interests of our family.

Moving forward, let's choose to test our actions against Philippians 2:3-4 and try to look out for the interests of our husband, not just ourselves. A great first step is to ask for forgiveness from the Lord, be honest with our husband, and move forward together, learning from each other's trust-violating habits. Trust in a marriage is a beautiful, and attainable, thing.

Dear Lord, forgive me for hiding in the dark what should be in the light. Please prepare my husband's heart to hear what I need to confess, and give us the wisdom on how to move forward, together ... with You are our guide. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:

For over 17 years, Proverbs 31 Ministries has been a trusted friend, offering biblical perspective on marriage, parenting, friendships and more. This wisdom has been recorded in 366 devotions that unpack Scripture and are interspersed in the new NIV Real-Life Devotional Bible for Women. Click here for your copy! Finances within marriage is one of the biggest stressors. If you can relate, join our newest Online Bible Study of Stressed-Less Living by Tracie Miles. For more information and to sign up, click here.

Visit Stephanie Clayton's blog for more hope and encouragement.

Reflect and Respond:
Are you violating the trust in your marriage right now? If so, make a plan to tell you husband. If you are nervous, pray about having a third party there to help mediate.

Power Verse:
Ephesians 5:21, "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." (NIV)

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